How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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