Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
