he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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