We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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