Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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