if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
