Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
