how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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