we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
two words: eviction party
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
