Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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