everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
