what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
