ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
time to smoke my breakfast
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
