Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
