Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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