I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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