i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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