Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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