Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
