Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
COCAINE IS GR8
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
