I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
