Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
