Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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