Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
