this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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