I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
