drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
