We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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