you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
