I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
