I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
