there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
