That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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