Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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