Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
