Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
