Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
