I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
