I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
