He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
