I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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