okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
