yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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