hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Someone came in the potted fern
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
