Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
