hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
