is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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