Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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