and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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