Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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